Consultants Re-Name Their Firms With Shocking Results

What’s in a name, you ask? Well, we asked thousands of consultants to provide a more apt name for their employers.

Some respondents appreciated the name and brand recognition of their firms. Others might make their employers wail à la John Proctor in “The Crucible”:

Below are the good, the bad, and the ugly of consulting firms after a good ol’ fashioned re-branding.

Accenture
Respondents all seem to agree, Accenture is a great place to build a career (if you have the dedication). Ultimately though, many wanted to drop the “Accent on the Future” and return to pre-2001, “Andersen Consulting”

• First Post-College Stop
• Not for MBAs
• WorkALot-EarnALot-LearnALot-RestNot

Deloitte
The responses for Deloitte offer a good cue about the kind of work you will find at the firm: a lot of it.

It should also be noted that many took shots at PwC for once considering the name “Monday.”

• Workaholics, Inc
• Tonofhours Consulting
• Delottawork Consulting
• “Monday – just kidding, that was the stupidest name ever”

KPMG
Don’t change a thing! Respondents are proud of the brand and it’s worldwide recognition. Phil Mickelson’s hat is safe…for now.

Navigant Consulting
“Anything but Navigant. I’m tired of being asked if we’re a company associated with sea travel.” Fair enough.

Hay Group
Mixed feedback for the Hay Group. Respondents shared that management is no-nonsense, with a bottom-line mentality. Employees are nonetheless proud of the work they do for their clients.

• Hay, Get back to work!
• People Driven Strategy

IBM
Poor IBM. Their employees feel lost and detached after some recent cost-cutting, morale killers. “Most of the differentiating perks IBM had are under attack due to cost cutting” one reported. Furthermore, they aren’t particularly confident in senior management, even reporting that the CEO “doesn’t have a vision.”

• ‘I Be Motivated,’ that is, if the executive leadership was gone.
• I’m By Myself

Strategy&
Respondents made it very clear. They do NOT like their new name. Almost everyone begged for a return to Booz and Co. or another variation.

Slalom Consulting
If you want to work at a top-notch consulting firm, but are not a fan of travel, Slalom is for you. They only take local clients around their 16 offices in North America, and 1 in London.

• Accenture Without the Travel

And now for a few rapid fire names:

Booz Allen Hamilton – The Real Department of Defense
Vynamic – Transparency Consulting
NERA Economic Consulting – “Get your PhD or get out…”
CRA International, Inc. – Global Direction Shapers
Simon-Kucher & Partners – The Sunny Side of Consulting
McKinsey & Company – Impact Consulting

Last but not least, a few anonymous names – too cruel to reveal.

Liars, Scoundrels and Thieves
Status Quo Partners
Wizards of Oz – Don’t look behind the curtain
Smoke & Mirrors
Greedy Old White Guys
The Exploiters
Pricewaterhouse Bloopers