How to Ask for a Favor

Conventional wisdom will vary on this, no doubt, but several times over the last few weeks, clients have asked me what the ‘rules of engagement’ are for how to operate when asking someone a favor.

This could entail asking a friend to introduce you to someone influential they know or asking an online contact for an informational interview or phone chat. There are definitely going to be many opinions on this topic, but from my experience the following things are a must when asking for a favor:

Scheduling Tips: Under no circumstance is it appropriate ever to suggest the call or meeting to take place later that day. “I can come by your office in two hours if that’s ok” should never come out of your mouth. Give your suggested times at least 48 hours out from whenever you’re writing the email.

-If you’re giving times that work for you, don’t give 34 options. Offer 3-4, at varying times of the day and pick a couple of different days. No one wants to check his or her calendar for multiple times- it’s overwhelming and they’ll be quick to just not answer.

-Don’t say, “Whenever works best for you.” Yes, I get it- you’re trying to be accommodating and thus helpful, but it can end up being anything but. You a) make yourself seem eternally available/not busy and b) you make THEM do the work. That open ended, “whenever works for you” puts the onus on the person to whom you are asking the favor, which is no bueno.

Establish who is calling whom (you should probably be calling them since it’s your ask) prior.

Be Serious. If you’re going to ask any amount of time of someone in a field or company you want to be in, arrive prepared! Know about the company, come with questions about the field or job you’re looking to get into, ask what It will take to get into that field, etc.

Understand the position you’re going for versus where you’ve been before. I’m ALL about being ambitious and reaching for a job that might seem at face value to be jussst out of reach, but do your due diligence to find out if it it’s too far out of reach. How? Contact your Career Center at your alma mater, talk to a career expert, a friend in the field or a mentor before you make the ask of someone in your network.

Be Time-Oriented: It may go without saying, but be early if you are meeting in person or on time (not early) if calling him or her. Also, if you’ve scheduled 30 minutes, when 30 minutes is up, regardless of whether you are finished with all your questions say, “I want to be mindful of your time. Would it be ok if I followed up with my last question via email.” If they have 5 more minutes, they’ll let you ask the question then. If not, they’ll be impressed with your attention to their schedule and be cool with you following up.

Plan your line of questioning thoughtfully. For example, If you have 5 questions to ask, ask them in order of priority for you, so that if the last question isn’t asked, it won’t be the end of the world.