Too Much Humility is Hampering Your Career. Here’s How to Fix It

You’ve just won a major client you’d been courting for over a year. You’re thrilled that your hard work has paid off. But when your CEO asks you about your success, you decide to downplay your achievements so you don’t seem too full of yourself.

“It wasn’t that big of an account,” you explain. “I didn’t have to work that hard to encourage them to work with us.”

You’re satisfied that you remained humble, even when you achieved something significant. You may hope that your CEO pries just a little bit more into your performance.

Too much ego is a bad thing, but too much humility can limit you. You may think that your achievements speak for themselves, but this isn’t always the case. For instance, the CEO in the above scenario might believe that your effort was insignificant. Or they could believe that you were “humble-bragging” – hoping that they’d pry to learn more – rather than authentically sharing your accomplishments.

Is your humility holding you back?

Defining Humility

Humility is defined as “a modest or low view of one’s own importance.” In other words, a humble person understands that their contributions are significant, but that others are just as important to the company’s functioning.

This doesn’t sound so bad, right?

Humility in itself is a fine quality, but some people take it too far.

One form of humility is illustrated in the example above. Here, the humble person is afraid to take credit for their accomplishments because they want to avoid seeming arrogant. Taken too far, this attitude can create a fear of power and stop your ambition in its tracks.

James L. Walpole of Mission.org also suggests that many people take humility too far:

“…our desire to avoid being seen as egotistical is a profoundly egotistical one. And our egotism — our self-comparison to others and our constant self-image maintenance — is the worst self-destructive behavior we can inflict on ourselves.”

He suggests that our humility often is a performance designed to make others feel better about themselves. Performative humility encourages us to compare ourselves with everyone around us, rather than focusing on what we can to accomplish.

Do You Have Too Much Humility?

The idea here isn’t to brag about yourself and your accomplishments. In fact, humility to a certain degree is a positive trait in business:

“When we appoint humble people to leadership roles, they are less likely to damage their teams and organizations,” says Fast Company.

Despite research to suggest the opposite, however, we culturally value charisma and confidence, even if it leads to arrogance. Even if we know someone is incapable of performing their job well, we will still choose that person for leadership roles over humble people if they are charming. Too much humility, then, can hurt your job prospects in the long run.

Both men and women suffer from workplace preference of outgoing, even self-congratulatory employees. Humble men can be seen as too soft or “feminine” for leadership roles, and the same is true for women. At the same time, though, women who are assertive in ways similar to men can be seen as too aggressive.

Cultivating a Balance of Self-Confidence and Humility

Share Your Accomplishments and Accept Congratulations

An overly-humble person often won’t share their accomplishments because they struggle to accept positive feedback. While it can be difficult for humble people to take congratulations, learning to share your successes without anxiety and accept compliments are key to healthier humility.

Speak More Than You Think You Should

Even if off-topic comments and long-winded speeches in meetings can be frustrating, our workplace culture values those who speak up the most. This isn’t to say that you should blather on for its own sake. But overly-humble people may believe that their valuable contributions are excessive – even when they’re the most valuable comments in the room.

Become Your Own Cheerleader

No matter how your humility developed, too much humility can make you think you aren’t worthy of your success. This negative self-talk doesn’t help you, or your career. Instead, work on reframing how you think about yourself – what do you really want? What are you capable of achieving? Too much humility can make you think you aren’t worthy of your own goals.

Be Authentic About Your Own Ambition – and Value Others’ Goals

Similarly, if you don’t advocate for yourself – both internally and externally – you may start to justify your own lack of ambition. If you downplay your achievements too much, for instance, you may believe that what you have accomplished isn’t valuable. Instead, focus on what you’re proud of; you may even want to keep a list of your achievements.

At the same time, value ambition in your colleagues, as well. Culturally, we often see others’ success as threating or conceited, but if we want to alter our feelings about humility, we need to congratulate others on reaching their goals, as well. After all, most people can tell the difference between humblebragging and sincere sharing.

There are many reasons a person could develop too much humility. But there are key ways to make sure you’re developing a healthy balance of humbleness and self-confidence. If you aren’t sharing your successes because you’re worried what others will think, remember that the colleagues you want in your corner will value your accomplishments – and won’t try to bring you down.

---

Are you making the best use of your time? Learn more with Ivy Exec’s Career Advice.

---