7 Tips to Make Projects Successful When Collaborating With a Confrontational Coworker

Collaborating with someone who often disagrees or confronts others can be challenging. You may feel frustrated or overwhelmed and lack the motivation to work with them. You could also agree to all their suggestions even when you have better ideas to avoid conflict.

Still, it’s important to turn such difficult interactions into productive ones since team projects also affect your performance. Here are some practical tips to simplify teamwork when working with a confrontational coworker.

 

1️⃣ Focus on the Goal

Focusing on the bigger picture when working with a confrontational coworker will help you stay calm and avoid conflict. When disagreements arise, shift the focus back to the project’s primary goal.

For example, if a coworker is arguing over a minor detail, remind the team not to lose focus. You can also ask everyone to prioritize the main task to avoid missing the deadline.

Such an approach will diffuse unnecessary tension and redirect attention to what matters. It allows other team members to put their differences aside and focus on the shared goals. Steering the discussion back to the right path also shows you’re a leader who can handle workplace conflict.

 

2️⃣ Set Clear Expectations Early

Before starting any project, set clear expectations so everyone understands their role. Discuss who will handle each task, when to submit their part of the work, and how the team will make decisions.

Write all the details in a shared document or use a project management tool. This way, everyone can refer to the details if they forget them or when a disagreement occurs.

Setting clear expectations for every project leaves less room for arguments. If a confrontational coworker is arguing about who was supposed to complete a task, you can point to the shared document as a reminder.

The organization will help you avoid stress and make it easier to manage a project. It prevents frustration and allows teams to succeed despite the member’s shortcomings.

 

3️⃣ Stay Calm and Professional

Confrontational coworkers can make you feel like you constantly need to defend yourself. You may even be tempted to argue back, ultimately worsening the situation.

Staying calm and professional can neutralize even the worst argument. When a coworker starts a conflict, take a deep breath and think clearly before responding.

If, for example, they tell you your ideas don’t make sense, think of a way to turn the discussion into a productive one. You can ask them to explain their concerns in depth so you understand the problem. If they speak harshly or raise their voice, try to be calm.

Responding this way shows you’re open to their thoughts and feedback and aren’t trying to argue. It also shows you have emotional intelligence, which can help the worker feel less combative. Staying calm and professional ultimately makes the conversation less stressful for everyone involved.

 

4️⃣ Find Common Ground

Even if a coworker seems challenging to work with, you probably have some shared goals. Finding things you both care about can make it easier to collaborate. For example, most people want to finish projects on time and deliver excellent results.

If you both want to meet deadlines, you could say, ‘I know we’re all trying to finish these tasks on time. How can we work together to make that happen?’

By highlighting a shared priority, you redirect the conversation from an argument to a problem-solving one. It also shows you are willing to compromise to accommodate the coworker’s ideas. You’ll be surprised when they are eager to brainstorm solutions instead of dismissing everyone’s ideas.

 

5️⃣ Use ‘I’ Statements

Your choice of words can influence how a coworker reacts and perceives your message. When addressing conflict with an aggressive teammate, try to use ‘I’ instead of ‘you’ statements. For example, say, ‘I feel like my ideas aren’t being considered’ instead of ‘You’re not listening to me.’

Framing your statements in such a way makes them feel you’re sharing your feelings and not blaming them. It allows them to understand your perspective without feeling attacked.

Using ‘I’ statements encourages the coworker to consider how their actions affect you and other teammates. It often leads to better conversations by fostering considerate communication.

 

6️⃣ Ask Questions to Understand Their Perspective

Confrontational coworkers often feel like others don’t respect or value their opinions. Asking the right questions shows you want to understand their perspective, even if you don’t always agree with it. It reflects genuine interest in their input and can make them more willing to collaborate.

When asking the questions, use thoughtful phrases and request specific information. Some good examples include:

• Can you explain why you think this approach will work better?
• What are your most significant concerns about the current plan?
• What would you suggest as an alternative?
• Can you walk me through your thought process?
• Do you think we’re overlooking any vital aspect of the project?

As your coworker responds, listen actively and don’t interrupt them. Give them enough time to explain their ideas to ensure they feel respected.

Further, ask follow-up questions if you need more details or clarity, and stay open-minded. You might uncover helpful insights that streamline the project.

 

7️⃣ Involve a Neutral Third Party If Needed

Applying the other strategies is often helpful, but conflict can sometimes escalate. In such a case, a third party should be involved to mediate the situation and avoid derailing the project. You may ask for help from the team leader, a manager, or a coworker.

While it may feel like you’re giving up on collaborating, the opposite is true. Getting help shows you’re prioritizing the project’s success and healthy communication. It’s also a great way to prevent negative energy and toxicity in the workplace.

Once you approach a third party, stick to facts and avoid personal attacks. Mention you’re having difficulty agreeing on the best way forward and ask for a fresh perspective. The neutral party’s advice will help everyone focus on the solution and improve communication.

 

Don’t Let Workplace Differences Affect Your Success

Working with a confrontational coworker isn’t easy, but you can still create a positive experience. Set clear work guidelines and document every process for future reference.

If a conflict arises, focus on the main goal and handle the issue calmly. It’s also critical to identify when you need a neutral party to intervene for successful project outcomes.

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